I was telling a friend of mine recently that I had not really been out running since my half marathon. I have run 2 5Ks, but that was all I have run, except for when I have to run to make sure my children get to school on time because we left late for one reason or another.
I told him that I am still a bit bummed about the time I finished in for my half marathon. In a million years, I would have not expected to finish in over three hours. It took me 30 minutes longer than I had finished my previous half marathon in. Yes, it was incredibly hot that day, but I had put in the time I had to in order to train. I still can't figure out where, exactly, I went wrong.
I contemplated, long and hard, about hanging up my running shoes and giving up. It even seemed like a plausible idea. What was I, at age 39 and overweight, thinking trying to run a half marathon, or even run at all?!? I am the mother of four children, aged 10 to 1, she will be 2 very soon. I know I will never be at the head of the pack. I know exactly what I am thinking now. I just want to be in shape. I want to try to insure that I will live long enough to see my children graduate, get married, and have children.
Those moments of discouragement seem to make a lot of sense when I am going through them! But when I start talking about it to my family and friends, it really doesn't seem to make any sense at all. Yes, I will never run a half marathon again in slower than 3 hours, if I never run again. I would never have to train in the heat of the summer or the freezing cold of the winter, if I never run again. To be honest, I need to run. It is my time. It is the time I get to figure out all life's questions and problems that might be going on.
My friend told me, just go out and run. Don't time it, just run. Don't worry about how long it takes. It is advice I took tonight. I have decided to start training for another race. I am not sure yet if I will do another half marathon around Halloween or if I will do the 5 mile race. I am kind of leaning toward 5 miles. I think that I should work on losing some of this weight that I have gained. I am thinking that it is medicine induced weight because there isn't much of any other reason why it is here.
I ran 2 miles tonight. I didn't look at the time. I just ran. I don't know how many minutes. I think this is how I am going to train for the next race. Not worrying about the time. Just me, my running shoes and the pavement. It is nice to disconnect from technology, even if it is just disconnecting from the stopwatch.
I look forward to my next run. It is supposed to be 3 miles on Wednesday. Hopefully I can do it then!